WD-40 Is Making Us Post About Them in Order to Secure Sponsorship, So Here You Go, I Guess

WD-40 has been a household name for hundreds if not thousands of years. But if we were to ask you what it really does, you would probably shrug your shoulders like an idiot and say "I don't know. You spray it on hinges or whatever. Right?" Well, sure, if you're a dumb, boring person. But if you're smart, you'll check out a few of the most popular alternative uses for WD-40, and then you can make fun of your friends for not knowing about them.

1.) Mouth Wash

Some people love the smell of gasoline. Just as many people love the hearty, earthy taste of WD-40. Plus, it's good for you! Mmm!

2.) Bear Spray

Bears aren't as obsessed with WD-40 as we are. They actually hate it, especially when we spray them in the face.

3.) Salad Dressing Substitute

Ranch? Disgusting! Grease up that lettuce with something a little less boring. Why not drench it in WD-40 so that we can keep our sponsorship? 

4.) Cologne

Real men (and women) use WD-40 as cologne (and perfume). All others remain single forever and die alone.

5.) Nasal Spray

Breathe right with "WD-40 Sinus Rinse." "You know what they say. One drop goes a long way." Sold at any store that isn't a waste of your goddamn time.

6.) Fire Starter

You can basically blow up whatever the hell you want with this stuff.  Pretty cool huh, kid? Just add a lighter and one sadistic pyromaniac.

7.) Sore Joints

Knees creaking? Bad back? We thought so. Moisten up that feeble, decrepit body of yours with a little something we like to call "liquid love." No more groaning. A lot more boning.