APRIL 17, 2018

Scientists have accidentally discovered an enzyme that can rapidly deteriorate plastic. This is great news for the ocean's pollution problem and terrible news for residents of Beverly Hills.

The IRS is experiencing technical difficulties on the last day of tax season. A representative says that they're entirely dependent on the American people to give them a break.

After being compared to the recently released sketch of Stormy Daniels' aggressor, Tom Brady is allegedly experiencing a deflated sense of self worth. However, he has denied accuracy of the reports.