AWW! Owner of Pet Store Asks Me if One of Her "Strong Young Boys" Can Help Me Carry My Shit to the Car

Yesterday I ran out of food for my dogs who eat way too goddamn much. I sort of like them though, so I sort of have to buy food for them sometimes.

Upon checking out, and upon slinging the thirty-something pound bag of super expensive and ultra-pretentious food over my shoulder, the elderly owner seemed to notice a struggle that wasn't really there.

She tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Sir, would you like one of my strong young boys to help you carry that out to your car?" I laughed, because as common sense dictates, if the person who is being ordered to haul your shit is significantly smaller than you, she's probably joking. But she wasn't. She simply saw my feeble body and called me the fuck out.


No matter how physically capable you think you look, there will always be at least one elderly woman out there who thinks you're a total fucking pussy.