We've Been Trying to Contact Rachel Dratch About Creating a Show Called "The Dratchelorette," But She Simply Won't Respond

Rachel Dratch as the Dratchelorette

"The Dratchelorette," a Bachelorette spinoff that would star Rachel Dratch, would undoubtedly receive record-breaking ratings and superb reviews. So we have to wonder, why is she not taking advantage of this situation? And why the fuck is she not responding to us?

As much as the majority of America loves to hate-watch the Bachelorette, this potential spinoff would bring about a more positive group-date viewing experience. 

We have to admit that we've been throwing this idea around for a while. We've just been waiting for this idea to snag the attention of a special someone who has the perfect name for the show, as well as 

Ways We've Tried Contacting Rachel Dratch:

We've tweeted, we've posted, we've dug through the trenches of the internet to try to find her personal email (to no avail), and we've even created & shared a wonderful cover image for the potential spin-off.

Rachel Dratch

Reasons Why She Might Not Be Interested:

There are zero reasons why she might not be interested.

Things Rachel Dratch Is Missing Out on By Not Helping Us Create This Masterpiece:

1.) Tons of hot men and/or women and/or whatever the hell she wants. 

2.) A shitload of drama. We're talkin' real juicy stuff here, kids.

3.) A $20-$30 per diem plus a kickass view from the resort balcony.

So what do you say? Want to help us make this a thing? Share the hell out of this, and make your friends do the same thing. Make sure you tag her in your tweets and posts. We need her to know that she needs this.